In Memory of Monika- Brain Cancer Advocacy

Note: Posted 1 Year later

Your Dad and Grandma with me after a long day on Capitol Hill.

  

Dearest Eva,

     Your mama was so wonderful at everything she put her mind to.  She was incredibly smart and creative.  This was displayed in both her professional life and personal hobbies. Monika definitely had flair!  This was also evident in the brain tumor/ advocacy work she did.  After your mom's diagnosis, your mom and dad were quick to get involved with the National Brain Tumor Society.  In particular they went to their Head To The Hill event in Washington DC.  Read here on your parents' first experience on The Hill.

     After your mom passed, your dad and grandma recognized that Monika would still want them to continue their advocacy work.  When your dad asked if I wanted to come to this year's Head To The Hill, it was an easy decision.  I was all in.  I'm TERRIBLE at public speaking, but for your mom I had to at least try, right?  Your mama was always good about pushing me out of my comfort zone. 

 

     Monika knew how powerful a voice could be.  I think she would be proud of us for trying to save others and their family members from feeling the kind of pain we are going through.  It's been less than four months since she has passed.  Maybe we were a little over ambitious to think we could tell her story so soon.  Our hearts are still aching so much.  I try to remind myself my pain comes from immense love, but as true as that is it still doesn't help me speak about your mom in a coherent manner.  I feel like a blubbering mess sometimes.  She would be at that Head To The Hill event if she were with us still, so it felt like something that had to be done. 

     It was an incredible experience and very well organized.  Advocates from around the country met up and broke up in groups by states to meet with the Senators and Representatives.  I cannot wait until you are old enough to advocate with us! 

Love You Always, 

Auntie Tara 



Friends are Family Too

Dearest Eva,

One day you're going to realize I am not a "real" Auntie.  My hope is that won't matter to you.  My hope is you feel enough love radiating from Uncle Ben and I that the lack of blood relation will not matter.  In your lifetime you will have a ton of friends and even more acquaintances.  Hopefully you will experience the kind of friendship I had with your mother.  It's a closeness so special, those friends will actually feel like family members.  Well... the family members you actually get along with of course!  Just kidding-ish.

When you do find those friends, cherish them.  Realize that roads in life will have people come and go, but hold on to the good ones.  Your mother was incredibly good at keeping in touch with her loved ones from all facets in her life.  Grade school, college, all her jobs, hobbies, she really did make strong connections with people all throughout her life.  You are still so very young, but I could see it in your smile.  You already draw people to you just like your mama.

I decided long before you were born that your Mom was just like another sister to me.  That has made it very easy to think of you as another niece.  You are my family.  Your Dad is my family.  I will love you both as such always.  Or until your dad gets sick of us.  Hopefully that's never.

Love always,
Auntie Taramae

Dearest Eva,

By the time you are able to read this, I'm sure you will have a better understanding of what happened with your mother.   Your mom has been gone for two months now.  It's been incredibly hard without her.  She is still all around us.  I could still hear her laugh if I close my eyes and remember.  I hope her laughter will always be that easy for me to recall.  But your Auntie is getting older.  I have a hard time remembering what I wore yesterday.  Beyond teaching you about your incredible mom, in writing to you I'm hoping to also preserve those memories for myself.  All I have of your mom are those memories, so I intend to hold on to them as tight as I possibly can. 

While your mom was in the hospital, I went to see her daily.  She had the same request from me every single time.  Even when communication was tough for her, she wanted to make it known.  "See Eva," she would repeat to me.  "See Eva.  Run with Eva," and when I jokingly asked if I could also give you snacks, she firmly replied, "healthy only." 

Now although I take honorary Auntiehood very seriously, I want you to know it is not a chore for me.  Your mom did request that I spend time with you, but it has been so easy to do.  You have been such a gift to my life.  Right now, I definitely need you more than you need me.  I look forward to the days I get to see you and definitely miss you the times in between.  I hope even at this young age that you could feel my love.  It's the highlight to my week to hear you say "Aunnie, UP!" and see you reach out to me to be held.  You have my heart if your tiny little hand.  Oh boy, I hope I don't spoil you rotten!



Love always,
Auntie Taramae